Unwelcomed is aptly named… no one is welcomed
Unwelcomed is one hell of a ride! At its core not even the homeowners are barely welcomed in their own home and at worse… move, move now! Unwelcomed is an unsettling viewing experience, one that makes you flinch at the realism that gives you a sprinkle of folklore. Be warned, if you aren’t a fan of man vs. man violence, this movie isn’t for you.
The titled movie stars Hannah John-Kamen as Maya and Douglas Booth as her husband Jamie. The first 5 mins between the two in their London flat are so disarming that it makes you question if you are watching a horror movie. Then the very next 5 minutes solidifies that, you are indeed watching a horror movie, you will be horrified for Maya and Jamie, and that this may be a rough ride. About a 9 month time jump takes you to Jamie and Maya inheriting a house in Ireland and them taking the opportunity to start a new life there. From there the movie takes a long time creating the foundation of why local creature folklore should not be ignored. A VERY long time. So long that you look at your watch and wonder if this will ever become a creature feature. The movie is very preoccupied with establishing the human antagonists which it does a bang up job of doing but almost no screen time to the little gremlins it advertises on showing up. Once that third act kicks though, let’s just say, you’re in for a bloody good time. It was relieving that they didn’t go over the top with the creatures. The filmmakers hit the right note between kooky and menacing. And it’s really an interesting predicament they end on.
I will say that the movie does a good job wondering how you should feel about the husband and wife, but especially the husband. Maya is a badass in every sense of the word. Hannah does a good job empowering her character when she needs to be but also splashing vulnerability when it calls for it. On the other hand, Douglas’s Jamie; I’m not so sure about. The beginning of the movie definitely sets up his characterization and makes you understand why he is the way he is, but when I tell you he’s a punkass… no lies will be detected. Y ` ou want him so much to display more manhood but also that’s not how trauma works so his character will leave you perplexed.
Right now, this movie is in theaters but will be available to buy by March 14th. If it appears on a streaming service it's worth giving a whirl, but I’m not sure if you need to leave the comfort of your home to go and see this one. Let me know what you think on my IG profile for Geek By Hart!
Written by: Laney from Geek By Hart
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In trying to keep up with the latest horror movies that are coming out this year, I sat down to watch There’s Something Wrong With The Children. I dunno, sinister children flicks done right give me the creeps along with home invasion films and realistic alien films. Something Wrong With The Children is a mixed bag and by the end of this, I’ll let you decide on whether you should watch it. So here’s a non-spoiler look at the titled flick.
If you kept up with Criminal Minds this year, this movie stars tv villain Zach Gilford as Ben, Alisha Wainwright as Ben’s wife Margaret, Briella Guiza as Lucy and David Mattle Spencer; the last two being the “children.” They all visit a well within an abandoned structure and after the visit the children start to act strange. While watching this I felt like we were getting too much of the children smirking and laughing to explain away their diabolic ways. In that way, the plot is slow to pick up. However, as the second act fades and the third act ramps up, sinister they do become. You know there’s at least something to it, when you as the viewer realize that you’re yelling at the screen for characters to run or hide; like I was. Character decisions invested me, however the lack of scares bored me. The movie is just there. The child actors for what they were given, did fine. The reason why the children act weird is a little unexpected especially for the scenery of said movie. The scenery alone telegraphs certain expectations that are subverted and for this, I appreciated that vision. Yet what was not appreciated was the score. The score takes you right out of the scenarios. Just when you are settling into what is happening on the screen the music appears out of nowhere and is completely mismatched with the action on the screen. Just like my review is all over the place, so is this movie.
If you could see me, you would see me shake my head. I don’t know. Since it’s on Amazon Prime, try it out for yourself. I’m not really sure who this movie will appeal to, but I’m sure there is somebody who will like it. It’s not terrible, it can get bloody towards the end. It’s just mundane. And for a horror movie, I’m not sure which is worse.
Written by: Laney from Geek By Hart
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You already know when I’m ready to talk about a movie with by writing spoiler review, read my review so you can skip the movie. Snow Falls came out a couple of weeks ago through Amazon Prime and the horror fan in me wanted to watch it. However, the horror fan in me knows for every decent horror movie that comes out, there are 3-5 movies that appear out of thin air just to take the air out of the room. Snow Falls isn’t quite that movie, but you’ll wonder why you bothered to watch if you decide to.
The premise is simple. Friends gather at a cabin in the woods during winter and due to a predicable snow storm coming along with a power outage, they have to battle the cold in order to survive. First, there are some marketing misdirects that lead you to think there is something in the snow or air that will cause the conflict here. There’s not. It’s just hypothermia. Second, look at the movie poster; it gives you a feeling that it may be even a little scary or bloody. Not too much in either case. And since friends being trapped in a cabin in the middle of the forest has been done countless times regardless of what they have to do in order to survive, then you would feel that the writers and actors of this movie would try to do something that would make it stand out in the genre. You would be wrong.
Snow Falls introduces the most generic group of actors posing as friends that you would see in a long time. Seriously, I’ve met strangers that I’ve had a better rapport with in 5 minutes then the 5 people portraying friends over what I would think would be a couple of weeks to months shooting schedule. They all have zero chemistry and they aren’t likable characters. This matters because when they start to “go a little mad” you end up not caring that they do or if they will survive. The fake ass CGI snow never even piles up high enough to feel like maybe, just maybe two of the characters should risk it to try to find help. All in all, Snow Falls, falls as a movie you should want to see. If you want to see friends die in a cabin in the woods from different reasons, watch a playthrough of Until Dawn or watch the cabin section in Jason X. Those are better watches than this one.
Written by: Laney from Geek By Hart
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Blumhouse strikes again!!! The title, Run Sweetheart Run, is all you need to know about this movie. It commands you to do what you need to do and I suggest you take its advice. Run Sweetheart Run stars Elle Balinska as Cherie and Pilou Asbaek as Ethan among others. The premise of a serial killer getting set up to do away with whistle blowers or victims of workplace abuse is an interesting one. Too bad its execution is extremely mishandled and at times insulting which turns you off as a viewer.
As you watch the movie, you can feel that it is trying to say something about how women are believed, or lack there of when bad things happen to them. There were truly some detestable male characters that to their core, mirror many men who abuse their positions of power to get what they want, and get away with it. Cherie was getting handled left, right, and center at every turn, bloodied throughout most of the movie, and there was barely anyone who wanted to genuinely help her unless she explained herself tirelessly or they just ignored her completely either due to disinterest or the power of Ethan. That premise can be promising. However the script was terrible, the acting was subpar, the resolution was wretched/extremely underwhelming, and when you have multiple shots at different times in the movie of our protagonist literally leaking her menstrual blood down her leg, there is little to redeem this trash. Nope, to add on, at one part Cherie takes out her blood soaked tampon to squeeze the blood to lure demon Ethan to her… yes you read right. Thinking back now, I should have started with my last sentence as to why this movie is trash.
As I watched this, I felt like I was being told this is how women act and that we need to stop fighting when we are wronged and take it. Then I look up who is behind the camera, the director and co-writer of this monstrosity was a woman named Sahna Feste. I shook my head in disgust and gave up trying to find any other silver linings of this flick. Since it is black history month, you can support Elle Balinska by turning it on through your Amazon Prime app, and then go away from the tv and do ANYTHING ELSE. That is how I suggest you watch this. But then again, if it gets a lot of views, they may make a sequel soooo, maybe support her by watching the equally horrible Resident Evil on Netflix. At least we know Netflix isn’t supporting round two of that crap.
Laney Hart of Geek By Hart
Written by: Laney from Geek By Hart
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Jason Blum strikes again… in an interesting way. Amazon’s Nanny stars the talented Starfire actress Anna Diop as Aisha who performs the title’s description in present day New York City. She is working hard to bring her son from Senegal to live with her. However, her life doesn’t pan out the way she wants and Aisha must find a way to continue her life when tragedy hits very close to home.
The description of this movie will say horror and thriller however this is extremely misleading. Nanny is more accurately a supernatural drama than it is how it describes. As a horror or thriller, it falls short. There are small horror elements that peek out it’s head which really lead to more psychological horror then traditional horror story beats, but it’s there and at least it works well to serve the story. As a thriller… shrug emoji. I can see where they tried to instill a thriller aspect to it, but to me because she’s not questioning her reality, it’s not a mystery to her but just life itself, this makes it more of a dramatic piece then anything.
This movie is so interesting. There are parts that to enjoy. I appreciated how they included Anna’s native background into her character in the story. I loved how they used the West African folklore of Anansi to merge it with Aisha’s story to explain her tragedy and just African folklore representation overall. Anna Diop killed this performance. She was mesmerizing and nuanced in her delivery as Aisha and truly made the character come alive. You hung on to her every emotion. Diop wasted no line or facial expression that made you elated when she was happy and devastated when she was sad. Finally, the movie felt relatable. The dialogue, the cultural differences between Aisha and her employers, the courting of Aisha and Sinqua Walls’s Malik; nothing felt forced or faked for the sake of Hollywood. This is a testament to director Nikyatu Jusu who also wrote the screenplay for this movie.
Truly I want to bash this movie more but when I think of some observations, I think about how they serve the story. For instance, her employer’s have an interesting marriage which I felt was a waste of a side plot, but it does serve to challenge Aisha in different ways; but other than not getting paid, it’s not consistent. The movie is a slow burn and nothing out of the ordinary doesn’t happen until almost 50 minutes in. You are waiting for the supernatural elements to pay off, but once you get to the final 10 minutes, you see and alllllllllmost appreciate why it took so long to build to get there. I do feel other criticisms are warranted. There is almost no reason other than a brief nipple being showed as to why this movie is rated R. The last 5 minutes was a rollercoaster that gives you car crash whiplash. Literally, LITERALLY, tragedy hits, before you can process this, Aisha overcomes a challenge that you weren’t really sure was the challenge and then absolute joy in a new sunshine happens and then end scene/movie that’s it. That whirl wind is so fast I spent the next ten minutes piecing how it all made sense.
I think when I just change my expectations to really think of this as a supernatural drama, I would enjoy it more. But I wanted to watch horror and since my mind was so stuck on wanting to see that, my personal ability to enjoy it (or I just want to say enjoyability 😀) suffered. Nanny is not bad. Not at all. As long as you know it’s not a horror movie. Now that’s on Amazon Prime, watch it. You will enjoy it for Anna alone.
Written by: Laney from Geek By Hart
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-Chris Fury
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The follow-up to the 2016 Terrifier came out last year. It was definitely talked about on many horror youtube channels and I really wanted to see what the fuss was about. While it is markedly improved from the previous entry, this movie will still make me wonder about who and why certain films are greenlit for production and distribution while others like Batgirl sit on a hidden shelf never to see the light of day.
I hate myself to say that there are certain aspects of this film that are an improvement from its predecessor. I will be careful to make the distinction of stating that things are an improvement vs actually liking what I’m talking about, because the latter; there is nothing to like. In comparison to the first movie, there seemed to be a little more of a plot. The plot however is a rehash of the spirit of Mike Myers in Halloween, but due to trying to flesh out the main characters of Sienna and Eric, there seems to be an actual direction to the movie then aimless walking around and killing. The clown had a little more personality in this one. Even though he didn’t utter a word, David Howard Thorton as Art The Clown wasn’t a one note gory ass killer 100% of the time. There were times that Thorton’s acting provided a bit and much needed levity to an otherwise depressing film. You also could tell that they had more of a budget for this film. The costumes and sets were a lot more varied and comparatively more extravagant then the first film. But that’s it. That is all that can be said that is worth acknowledging about this film.
I have utter contempt for Damiem Leone’s movie for a couple of reasons. This movie was not needed whatsoever. As mentioned about the first movie, the way it unfolded; Art was a human person and should have died at the end of that film. He suffered a fatal wound to the head and unless struck by lighting from his grave, he should never have gotten a second chance to breathe. But he did and this was not explained. This type of regeneration spread to one of the other characters of the movie and for the life of me, this left me completely confused. The gore was kicked up to Goku Black levels of madness and there were times that they would revisit the carnage that characters suffered just so you can see their remains again in new horrific ways. It was insufferable. It had a plot, but there were some huge holes. The main one had to do with the sighting of a little girl or how both Sienna and Eric might have been connected to Art and this little girl. We all knew who she was; but how did she fit with all three involved? And the less I say about the post credit scene, the better.
Overall, I would say this left me speechless, but I was able to write this article. I am not able to recommend this movie at all. Not for dare, not for money, not for love, not for the world. Only if you had to save your own life by watching this movie; then do it for that. Otherwise, you have been warned.
Written by Laney (Geek By Hart)
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-Chris Fury
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Let me start off with the truth. I heard about Terrifer 2 that came out last year and I’ve seen and read all about different reactions to it. In order for me to watch and cover Terrifier 2, I had to watch the first Terrifier. I was not terrified however there is a prospect of it that is absolutely terrifying.
Terrifier is no plot and completely all gore. While the cold opener will leave you wide eyed, it also sets the stage perfectly for what is in store for you if you want to torture yourself to sit through it. Terrifier is not a good movie. Not even in the least. It has a clown going around and killing people; because they are alive and they crossed his path. That’s it. That’s the plot. There is no finesse to it, it can’t even be saved with semi-decent acting. I will say if you are a fan of over the top Jason-esque kills, that may be its only redeeming quality. If you can remember when Jason dismembered a person in half with a sign; but they cut away from the actual dismemberment… this is on par for the type of kills to expect in all its true glory. The clown’s makeup and overall wardrobe was another strength. The stalker really did look scary that if you walked down the street towards him, you would do best to walk on the other side and turn around to make sure he keeps on walking in the opposite direction. Then run away some more.
I did end the movie befuddled. The film always played the clown as a human person who was a deranged killer. However, the way the movie ended clearly felt like Art will rise again in a way that is implausible for any human to do. So not only was it bad but it also didn’t make sense. Finally, to see the absolute senseless violence at play just for the hell of it is truly the reason why this film was named the way it was. I completely don’t understand why they made another movie or why I will peel my eyes open to watch it this weekend. Avoid this one at all costs.
Written by: Laney "Geek By Hart"
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-Chris Fury
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Smile even though your heart is aching. Smile even though… We’ve all heard these sayings before. Well, “Smile” takes this and tells you to f-round if you want to, but you gonna deal with this trauma today, or else. Smile is a smart look into how depression and unprocessed trauma has a way of latching onto you regardless of how you suppress it.
Smile follows Sosie Bacon as Rose as she tries to figure out why she is cursed by a mostly unseen entity that has her and the viewer doubting reality at every turn. Seriously, there are whole scenes that have you immersed in Rose’s reality until you and her realize it’s not; all at the same time! The soundtrack and sound design of quirky songs and unusual creepy sounds really adds to the overall unsetting effect of the story as it unfolds. And it is that set-up that truly digs under your skin to reveal what true horror is all about.
Smile is so aptly named and works so well due to how relatable the subject matter is; especially in the black community (even though the lead isn’t black). I know a lot of people who have issues, family secrets, feelings of hopelessness and are told to get over it, don’t speak to anyone about it, and it will disappear. But it doesn’t and it is through this mindset that helps the stalking entity break Rose down, because she had all of those feelings stated before magnified to an unreal degree under its relentless pursuit. Since this is a non-spoiler review, I won’t get into specifics here but Rose’s attempt at trying to become the very professional she needed to always have didn’t work.
The whole premise lends itself to creating a sequel and prequel so don’t be surprised if that happens within the next year or so. This film made 4 times its budget and you can now see it on Paramount +. Go into it looking for a cerebral scare and look over the horrendous chemistry almost all characters had with each other. That, if nothing else was a drawback, but not a big enough one to keep you from watching it.
Shout out to DJ tWitch and anyone who is dealing with anything that dims your internal light. Know that someone does love you and is ready to help. Share your hurt. Many hands make for a lighter load. Sleep in Peace King.
Laney - Geek By Hart
Written by: Laney - Geek By Hart
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-Chris Fury
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Hocus Pocus 2 premiered this week on Disney plus. The original Sanderson Sisters are back played by Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy. Starting in 1653 we see the sisters in the town of Salem and a young Winnifred Sanderson is stomping her way through the town scaring anyone she crosses paths with. She arrives home to her sisters and we find out it's also her 16th birthday. She's gifted with a pet spider and despite her being happy about her gift, she's more upset that she has an arranged marriage with a local boy when she truly likes Billy Butcherson to the chagrin of Reverend Traske played by Tony Hale. The reverend rouses the crowd in a frenzy and banishes the Sanderson sisters to the forbidden forest where they meet Mother Witch who gifts Winifred with the spellbook but warns her against using the forbidden Magicae Maxima spell. Flash to present day Salem where Becca and Izzy are preparing to celebrate Becca's sixteenth birthday. Their estranged friend, Cassie Traske offers them a party invitation and the girls awkwardly turn it down due to it being on Becca's birthday. Later the girls visit the Gilbert's Magic Shop where Mr. Gilbert gifts Becca with the Black Flame Candle. Stating that if lit on a full moon by a virgin on her sixteenth birthday, The Sanderson Sisters are released for one night to wreck havoc on Salem. Which to the girls horror, actually happens. After a chase through the woods and back to town, the girls are trapped in a Walgreens where they manage to convince the Sanderson Sisters that the girls themselves are youthful witches and that they no longer need to eat children due to their souls already being put into the serums in the make up aisle. The Sandersons are easily fooled until seeing themselves in a mirror and give chase. Becca and Izzy escape to Gilbert's where they explain what happen until the witches show up due to the shop actually used to be their old cottage. The witches throw the girls in the cellar, enchant Gilbert to retrieve the items need for their spell with the exception of the blood of their mortal enemy. Which is Rev. Traske (who is no longer alive) but they ffind out that Mayor Traske (also Tony Hale) is his descendant and go on the hunt. Meanwhile, Gilbert is at the local cemetery digging up the body of Billy Butcherson who actually has been just sleeping since his resurection in 1993 from the last film. Gilbert tricks Billy in collecting the other ingredients including Billy's head by telling him he plans on killing the witches. Becca and Izzy mangae to escape the cellar using leaves that Gilbert gave them that if burned and a incantation, the spell can be broken. They run into Cassie when they learned that her father is in danger and try to warn him as well as the witches being real. They manage to trap the witches in a salt circle but the Sandersons realize that their new target will be Cassie. The sisters escape the circle and use Cassie's blood instead. Becca and Izzy give chase after the sisters in the woods where they have gained all the ingredients for the forbidden Magicae Maxima spell but are only able to recite half of the spell due to Becca and Izzy's interference. With the Sanderson Sisters slightly powered up, they attack the girls and Becca is able to put up a force field to everyone's surprise. The witches leave to finish the spell and succeed but at an unforseen price. You must sacrifice something you love and i Winifred's case it was her sisters Mary and Sarah. As the two fade to dust, Winifred realizes the error of her mistake and begs the spell book to undo the spell in which the book doesn't comply. However, it does listen to Becca and her friends and they say the spell to undo what Winifred has done. But instead of bringing her sisters back, she fades to dust with them. Becca, Izzy and Cassie walk off triumphant with Mother Witch in the form of a bird flying after them. In a extra credit scene. Gilbert's black cat is seen guarding another Black Flame Candle signifying this may not be the last time we see the sisters. While this isn't a blockbuster film it is a treat seeing the trio of Midler, Parker and Najimy reunited to bring more spooky family fun. 7.5 eyes out of 10 for this one people!
Written by Chris Fury
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-Chris Fury
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Top L to R: Parker, Midler and Najimy
Let's star with the Trick. I had the opportunity to check The Munsters on Netflix. Directed by Rob Zombie who is more recognized other than music, in films as well. With slashers such as House of a 1000 Corpses, 3 From Hell, Halloween (2007) and Halloween 2 (2009). The Munsters seemed like a weird fit for Zombie. Considering that the films mentioned above were gory, bloody and spared no expense in the macabre. The Munsters, which is a remake/ origin story about Herman Munster ( Frankenstein's Monster, Lily Munster (vampire) and Lily's father The Count who is best known in the original 1965 series as Grandpa also a vampire. Marilyn (niece) and Eddie Munster (son) are not in this film. Let's start with the positive. The roles Of Herman ( Jeff Daniel Phillips) Lily (Sheri Moon Zombie) and The Count (Daniel Roebuck) are played perfectly to the tee of the original actors ( Fred Gwynne, Yvonne De Carlo and Al Lewis). However, this film's set design, color backdrops and wild camera angles read as a weird fever dream. There are several scenes where you can obviously tell there is green screen and I'm not sure if the cheesiness of the film is what Zombie was going for or if it was a budgetary issue being that the original had cheesy design, I'm hoping that was the case. The film tells the story of how Herman is created, the meeting, courtship and marriage to Lily and how the trio came to live in California. The origin was extremely scattered and believe it was because how cheaply it looked as far as shooting. We are introduced to Lily's werewolf brother, Lester who is more of a deadbeat looking for his next score and is coerced by The Count's ex-wife (who is also a gypsy) to sign over the deed to their castle in Transylvania in revenge for breaking her heart. Lester doesn't fair well until he meets Herman for the fist time and tricks him into signing it over which leaves the Munster's homeless. Meanwhile Lester is shortchanged by the Gypsies and winds up going to Vegas. Herman decides that he can use his talents as a musician and comedian to become famous. So. he decides to move the family to California. The realtor is played by Cassandra Peterson better known as Elvira, Mistress of the dark. Hostess of B movies of the horror genre. The Munsters arrive to Mocking Bird Estates during the local Halloween festival and think they are amongst creatures like themselves. The realtor tries to sell them a model home but the trio eye an old run down home and fall in love with it. Now, with a roof over their head but broke, Herman decides to find a job in the morning and to get themselves out the funk join in the Halloween festivities. The community is so impressed with their "costumes" that they win $1,500.00 dollars and Herman is offered a job by the local funeral parlor, Gateman, Goodbury and Graves due to his size and strength. The next day as Herman is off to work he realizes that their neighborhood is filled with hideous creatures (humans) and can't go outside. Lily and her father go out to inspect and are horrified. they run back in the house and just as they do, Lester arrives to give Herman his cut from the winnings he gained from Vegas which makes the Munsters rich. These one was a hard one to watch. Very cheesy in the camerawork and storyline. 3 out of 10 eyes on this one folks.
Written by Chris Fury
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(Top L to R) Roebuck, Zombie and Phillips
The Woman King starring Viola Davis and John Boyega tells the story of the Dahomey warriors. The most tactical and ruthless warrior women from the Agojie tribe nicknamed Amazon due to their nature of the fabled female Greek warriors. Taking place in 1823, the Agojie tribe had been under the thumb of the Oyo tribe. While both tribes had been involved with the Trans-Atlantic slave trade. The Agojie wanted to stop this practice and trade in palm oil and textiles after seeing the results of their previous dealings with the slave trade. Viola Davis plays Nanisca. The General of the Dahomey Warriors and she delivers. John Boyega plays King Ghezo and Nanisca (Davis) has his ear and trust in changing trades. We are introduced to Nawi played by Thuso Mbedu. A young girl who defies the wishes of being married off by her father and wishes herself to join the Dahomey Warriors. Lashana Lynch plays Izogie, trainer to the warriors. While Sheila Atim plays Amenza. Longtime friend, confidant and warrior to Nanisca. While this film is not an historical account of the Agojie Tribe and The Dahomey, it is one that takes historical figures and places them right where they belong. At the forefront. Fantastic fights scenes, resurfaced memories and powerful acting from Black Hollywood’s best, brightest and upcoming. This film will leave you in the emotional ebbs and flows from these actors. Currently, many will have you think this is another “slave film filled with trauma porn”. I will tell you, it is not. While it does give mention of the Agojie kingdom being involved at one point, it also shows that they chose to walk away from that. It also focuses more on the might of The Dahomey and what they meant to their village, themselves and each other. Go show your support for a film like this and that way we can continue to tell our stories in this fashion.
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It's the season finale of She-Hulk and I can only describe it as the most Meta fourth wall breaking moment in television to date and I'm here for it!! Starting off the episode we get an intro very similar to the Hulk series of the late 70's. Instead of it being The Hulk, it's Jen in a very much troll bashing transformation in to a hulking (see what I did there?) She-Hulk. Even down to the 70's style computer and Jen standing with Bruce saying the classic line of "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me whenI 'm angry. Which the exact scene that was used to promote the show. The show breaks to have Jen waking up in the same SuperMax prison that once housed Emil Blonksy aka The Abomination. Nikki, Pug and Mallory come to visit as Jen explains to them her legal strategy to take down the HulkKing and Intelligencia. Mallory interupts her to say that she needs to relax and listen to her council as the general public does not see Jen as a victim due to what happened at the gala with her private information being broadcasted on the screen. Jen is remanded to wear an inhibitor, loses her job at GLK&H and the press is pretty much tearing her apar including old coworkers at her previous firm slandering her name. For several days Jen tries to dig deep into who's behind Intelligencia only to find out that ownership site has many covers of shell companies that fall outside of United States jurisdiction leaving her at a dead end. Jen's mother shows a video of Jen in college dancing and having fun in her dorm in which embarrasses Jen. Her mother sends the video to Nikki on her request. After numerous attempts to contact her cousin and then Emil with messages failing to deliver, Jen decides to take Emil's previous offer to come to his compound for few days to get her head together. Meanwhile, Nikki has a video from Jen's mother and decides to use the video as bait for the Intelligencia website to sneak their way into a secret meeting with the people who are running the site. It works however she needs Pug to be the infiltrator of the meeting in which Pug reluctantly agrees. Jen arrives at the compound and meets up with The Wrecker and he informs Jen that Emil is at some speaking engagment. Meanwhile, Nikki and Pug pull up to where Intelligencia is meeting and she informs Pug what to do when he gets inside the meeting. As Pug arrives he sees Todd Phelps there and they begin talking. Todd introduces Pug as the coworker who works with She-Hulk and implies that Jen slept with her boss at GLK&H to get her position. Several men are heard saying some very unflattering things about Jen and Pug tries fitting in and responds in kind to not blow his cover. He asks Todd how he got into the group and to no surprise Todd ells him he created the group. Shortly after that Todd takes to the stage to announce their guest speaker for the evening and it's no other than Emil in his Abomination form. Just as he begins his speech, Jen walks in and notices Abomination. He notices Jen and quickly returns to his human form. Nikki busts in and along with Pug yell to Jen that Todd is behind Intelligencia. Todd relishes in the thought of Jen being there because goes on a rant how she didn't earn her powers. Then reveals that it was he that planted Josh in her life to seduce her and take her to bed, steal her information off her phone and blood. He then says that he synthesized her blood and takes the serum to make himself a Todd version of a Hulk. This is where it starts to take one of the craziest turns in television! Just as he's about to attack, Abomination saves Jen and throws her over his shoulder, Titania busts through the wall in which Nikki says "does this b__ch ever use a door". Hulk crashes through the ceiling and sees Abomination holding Jen. Automatically sending Hulk on the Offense thinking Jen has been harmed. As the two begin to have rematch, Jen looks at the camera and asks " Is this how we're ending the season? None of these plots makes sense!" Just then the show goes to the Marvel home screen of Disney+. At this point I thought something was wrong with my remote. Then you hear Jen's voice break through the She-Hulk banner looks around and swings down to the Marvel Assembled banner. Now, She-Hulk is in our world!! Well a version of it anyway and she's on the Disney Studios campus and sneaks her way into the She-Hulk production house. Meta on top of Meta. She makes her way to the writers room where they are discussing various ways to end the season with more outrageous scenarios and Jen begins to chastise them on why it's such a crazy finale. Their answer to her is it's what Kevin wants. Hold on to your seats because this is where it gets really crazy. As She-Hulk says she wants to talk to Kevin, the room erupts in laughter and tell her no one talks to Kevin. She tells them that it's weird how they are talking about Kevin and decides to find him herself. Arriving at the office, she is made to sign an NDA and just as she does security is called. Going towards Kevin's office She-Hulk easily dispatches of the security and walks into a room where there ar various clips from Marvel films playing and out of the ceiling drops an AI with the name K.E.V.I.N (Knowledge, Enhanced Visual Interconnectivity Nexus) Marvel has a thing for acronyms (S.H.I.E.L.D , M.O.D.O.K, A.I.M you get the picture. Plus, you were probably thinking Kevin Fiege weren't you. We all were! Kevin then proceeds to ask Shulkie to return to her human form because it's expensive to keep her as She-Hulk plus, the VFX team has to move on to another project. At that moment the Wakandan drums are heard implying that it was the project. He then explains that he possesses the most advanced entertainment algorithm in the world and that it produces near perfect product. When Jen replies "near perfect." Kevin replies that some are better than others and he lets the internet decides that. Jen then begins to use her legal expertise to argue her point and manages to have several changes made to the finale. Then tries to find out what's going on with the X-men while she winks at the audience with a thumbs up in which Kevin replies that he can't tell her that. Jen does however make a request to see Matt (Daredevil) again because "A woman has needs" and Kevin replies that historically they have been light in that department. Argue down Hulk no needing to save the day in her show while Kevin tries to explain about her cousin Jen just says " Save it for the movie" (does that mean the Universal Studios contract has finally expired and we can get a solo Hulk film?) Kevin says the algorithm is changed and says she has obliterated the thrilling ending he had planned. Jen's response "That's what we Hulks do. Bruce smashes buildings and she smashes fourth walls and bad endings.. and sometimes Matt Murdock" Things are finally set right and Todd is arrested, Emil is going back to the Supermax prison and Daredevil swoops down just as the bad guys are being carted off. Matt is being grilled at the family barbeque and Bruce shows up with a surprise. Skar, his son. Jen gets her job back and informs the reporter that if anyone decides to come after anyone innocent that she will come after them. As a lawyer or a superhero. Jen has finally accepted her role as a superhero. The extra credit scene has Emil in his cell and Wong opens a portal to leave apologizing for running late due to his being on another show. Because television is a big thing. All in all I am thoroughly impressed with how She-Hulk turned out. From the fourth wall breaking and comedy edge reminiscent of John Byrne's run on the comic. To ripping the trolls and making fun of them and certain toxic fans in various ways. This is a definite direction for a show such as this and I can't to see more from this for the next season!
Written by Chris Fury
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The Savage She-Hulk trolls deserve!!
Werewolf by Night first appeared in Marvel Spotlight #2 in 1972 starring the main character Jack Russell (Yes, I know. He's named after a dog get it?) Cursed with a case of Lycanthropy or for you regular humans, turning into a werewolf. And it taps into the horror craze of that time. Marvel and Disney plus have managed to catch that same magic of old school monsters vibe by airing the Special Presentation just like the late 70's introduction of that time period which I truly appreciated. The special opens up like the typical Marvel opening to only be interrupted and turned black and white, music changed to being a creepy organ that was generally used for horror films of that was the aesthetic of Universal Monster films, along with animal slashes with the Marvel character reveals. All in all the show has already received my attention. The show opens with a backstory with the history of the Bloodgem. An artifact that has various abilities. One of which weakens monsters and can emit powerful blasts. We are slowly introduced to a secret cabal of monster hunters who begin trading tales of their wins. All who introduced are nameless at first but their kill counts are applauded with Jack ( who is nameless) is lauded with 100 kills, the most out of all the hunters in the room. The hunters have gathered due to the passing of Ulysess Bloodstone. The last owner of the Bloodgem. The gathering is to see who would be the next bearer of the artifact. Later we are introduced to Elsa Bloodstone, estranged daughter of Ulysess and and Elsa's stepmother, Verussa is none to happy to see her and feels she's lost the privilege of even being there. They have a few short words and Elsa leaves to join the others. As the hunters have gathered in the room, Verussa begins bragging on the kills count of each hunter ending with Jack having the highest in the room. The corpse of Ulysess is brought out and literally cranked like a Jack-In-A-Box to be animated like a puppet to address the hunters with a pre-recorded message for the hunters stating the there would be a hunt for a most powerful creature on the grounds. The winner would become the new owner of the Bloodgem. As the hunters go out, it turns out the hunters also are hunting each other in a winner takes all event. Jack runs into Elsa and informs her they should pretend they didn't see each other and move on which they do. As Jack is walking around the maze grounds, a monsterous hand reaches through the bushes and Jack taps his hand reassuring him that he was looking for him and that he would find a way for them to escape. they quickly separate due to one of the hunters overhearing them. Meanwhile, Elsa is seen fighting with one of the hunters and after cutting off his arm, is able to take out the hunter. Now that I've pretty much given away half the episode. I'll leave up to you, the reader to really get into this possible one off show. Just know this, everyone needs a Ted in their life and Marvel, in my opinion has managed to capture a magic of nostalgia by tapping into one of their lesser know characters in the horror leg of the Marvel Universe. I give this a solid 7 out of 10 eyes to put on this " Special Presentation"
Written by Chris Fury
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Gael García Bernal stars as Jack Russell in Werewolf by Night
When I tell you horror movies are making a comeback, better believe that. Barbarian is not a typical horror flick; you won’t find a slasher, dream demons, or teenage crazed killers. What you will find is a subversive film that gives you a twisted outlook on home invasion while providing social commentary on the deteriorating neighborhoods in forgotten places.
Barbarian stars Georgina Campbell as “the chick you need in your corner; period” Tess, Bill Skarsgard as “the you thought you knew what I was gonna do… but you don’t character” Kevin and Justin Long as “the asshole guy #1” AJ. This movie has a tense atmosphere that thrusts the viewer into watching Tess uncover more than she bargained for when renting an Airbnb in a depressing part of Brightmoor, Detroit. Campbell alongside Skarsgard’s Kevin, explore their dwelling to find out they are the invaders of a “homeowner” that isn’t keen on house guests. While the movie excels at providing you with false positives in where you think it’s going to laugh out loud bewildering moments that make you question the sanity of Tess’s decision making (seriously, the movie’s got to movie; but dayum homegirl should apply for sainthood after this) the only serious drawback is the lack of finality of your last survivor. The realism of flick is damaged as the credits role. But since you got this far; you won’t even mind it. So give it look-see. It’s on HBOMax, so if you don’t have your own account; borrow someone’s. It’s worth a Saturday night; I ain’t doing shit movie.
Written by Laney "Geek By Hart"
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Three seasons and another DC show comes to a close in what I consider spectacular fashion! Not many shows that get the chopping block get a chance to not only wrap up a story, but leave it open for further adventures later down the line (HBOMax perhaps?) Stargirl during it's run was a breath of fresh air. Balancing teenage angst (what CW seems to be best at) and superheroine antics. Brec Bassinger stars in the title role as Courtney Whitmore/Stargirl as she builds her own version of the Justice Society of America. All while taking place in the small town of Blue Valley, Nebraska there happens to live remnants of the Injustice League of America. The series finale has reveals and conclusions that not many shows get to have. Joel McHale appears during the final season as Starman returned from the dead (how? you'll just to check it out!) With twists and turns on who is playing who and villains turned good (or trying to) allowing the viewers to have a form of sympathy for those who are trying to turn over a new leaf. Yes, it can be cheesy but that the beauty of a show such as this. Much like DC's Legends of tomorrow, Stargirl kept a light tone but it balances it with a dark tone that you wouldn't expect from a show like this. It does touch on many real life issues as well such as bullying in many forms, dealing with loss, even trying to build a family dynamic. In what is now it's final bow (Infinity Inc. anyone?) It's safe to say that I would have loved to see what would have come in the next installment of a fun series. Signing off, Chris Fury.
Written by: Chris Fury
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In the latest installment of the DC animated universe we have Batman: The Long Halloween. On this go around we have Jensen Ackles ( Supernatural, Under the Red Hood) Voicing the Caped Crusader, Naya Rivera (Glee) in her final performance voicing Catwoman, Josh Duhamel (Transformers, Netflix Jupiter's Legacy) as Harvey Dent and Billy Burke (Twilight film series, Drive Angry) as Captain James Gordon. What I've noticed with the DC animated films is they are telling more of the grittier stories told in the graphic novels and this one is no exception. The story is based on the graphic novel of the same name and revolves around the trio of Batman, Gordon and Dent trying to take down the Falcone crime family and a killer who strikes throughout the year on holidays. Couple this with a very well done character breakdown of the three, especially Harvey Dent. Showing his internal struggle with his psyche while trying to remain on the side of good is nothing short of amazing. The gritty animation and novel crime noir backdrop gives the true feel that this is just not your ordinary mystery but a character study as well. Ackles , who is no stranger to the Batman mythology and voiced Red Hood in " Under The Red Hood" adds to an already impressive list of Batman voice actors , Rivera adds spice and flirtatious attitude to Catwoman and Burke is perfect as Captain James Gordon playing a conflicted family man and honest cop. Voice legend and veteran, Troy Baker offers his talents as The Joker and you have what I consider a Perfect Storm. This disc also comes with a short story "The Losers" and the usual featurettes about the making of the film as well as a sneak peek at Batman: the Long Halloween part 2. This is not a film for young children due to violent images and a off color joke from the Joker about number two.
Batman: The Long Halloween part one is currently on blu-ray and diigtial
Orphan, First Kill… there really isn’t a way to digest this movie without going into spoilers, so this is your spoiler warning for this movie write-up. Now that we have that out of the way, this movie captivates with its twist but never truly establishes why it should have been made other than to make Julia Stiles relevant again. Orphan: First Kill stars Isabelle Fuhrman as Esther and Stiles as Esther’s new or should I say “first” mommy Tricia Albright. We meet the deranged killer as she escapes her mental facility to find a missing child to impersonate. She succeeds and the predictability of events falls right into place; until it doesn’t, and then it does.. She picks “Esther” out of a missing child case line-up, gets herself placed with her new family, but something just feels off. As the viewer, Stiles’s Tricia feels very distant from a child she thought was missing for years. You get the sense that something is not right but also that this may be how rich folk treat their kids, I’m shrugging either way. About one third of the way in you find out that Tricia has actually covered up for her son killing her daughter years earlier and has known all along that Esther is a fake. Raise your hand if you saw that coming. I did not.
Once the reveal has passed though, there are no surprises left and it becomes a story that doesn’t justify its existence. We really didn’t learn anything new about the character other than how she got her name and how she was introduced to the hidden painting technique. First Kill retreads very similar story beats though she got to kill the entire family in this one so… score 1 for her I guess?!?
I think the best part about this film was glossed over way too quickly. They should have spent much more time in the Saarne Institute then originally shown. Esther had control over another patient, someone instrumental to her escape. I would have loved to see her time there and how that relationship blossomed. I do praise, no, too strong a word; I admire the director in using camera and makeup techniques that help portray Fuhram as the young looking psychopath that she plays but beyond that and the family twist; you really don’t have a reason to watch this movie. It’s out of theaters and into your living room through Paramount+. If you have the service, I don’t know, I still wouldn’t watch it now that I’ve seen it. Waste your time at your own risk. You’ve been warned 😀
Written by: Laney from Geek By Hart
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While writing this review, I’ve gone back and forth with should it be a spoiler or non-spoiled review. I landed on leaning into what is common knowledge based on trailers, but tried to keep the integrity of anything else that wasn’t in the trailers a neutral retelling. So this is a semi-spoiler review 🙂.
Usually you should have healthy skepticism when trying to decide if you should see a horror movie in the month of January or from Blumhouse Productions. Will it be a dud, should I just wait for it to go to streaming? Rest assured, just like Scream (2022) defied January expectations last year, so does M3gan this year.
If you’ve seen the trailers then you pretty much know the layout of the film. Girl meets doll, doll’s AI goes full stalker and homicidal. Doll gets defeated? Sequel bait ,meet current Hollywood money making model. Hollywood, meet most likely a new franchise. But was it good enough for people to go to the theaters or want to see more?
M3gan doesn’t really do anything new but what it does, it does well enough. For starters, as a horror fan, I love my slasher movies gory, where the deaths should be indiscriminate. M3gan doesn’t shy away from pushing the hell out of a PG13 rating while having you think “yep, they really went there.” M3gan’s psychoticness is always just under the surface to be ignored or explained away. This aptly sets the stage for a slow burn that focuses more on the estranged dynamic between Allison Williams’ Gemma and Violet McGraw’s Cady and how M3gan was able to bond too closely and quickly with Cady. Once the killer doll’s facade is dropped it’s fun to see the zaniness of the 3rd act unfold where most bets are off on who lives and who dies. There’s decent camera work at play and the script paired with capable actors are good enough to make you feel a little uneasy watching it. Scares are mostly telegraphed but how they play out; when the movie allows you to see it, is entertaining. The real scare is a robot AI that goes all Ultron on you. Though you shouldn’t compare this movie to the original Child’s Play movies, the rebooted one is fair play. This movie is everything that reboot should have been with the implication of integrated AI. Right down to how Akela Cooper (black screenplay writer of Malignant, Hell Fest, and The Nun 2); writer of M3gan, teases a sequel at the last minute or that it was foreshadowed 15 mins from the end on Tess’s phone screen (pay attention!). I feel the greatest missed opportunity was for the identity of the AI. There was a moment that I felt that James Wan definitely could have pulled another Dead Silence or Malignant on us and while their killer reveals were more for shock value, this could have been an authentic reveal that could have made sense to Gemma’s character. Listen, if you were entertained by the trailer, then the movie is akin to it and doesn’t disappoint. M3gan is only in theaters as of January 6th. Give it a go and come back to let us know how you think they will proceed next!
Written by: Laney - Geek By Hart
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We start this episode with another time jump of ten years or so and we have Rhaenys Targaryen giving birth to a third child. Immediately after giving birth, Quuen Alicent requests to see the child Rhaenys (against her midwives request) and Laenor take the child and as suspected, this third child doesn't have white hair nor is mixed. Further proving Alicent's theories right. However, the children are not fathered by Sir Criston as you would assume. The children (yes, all theree) are fathered by none other than Captain Harwin Strong of the City Watch as we discover how he asks to hold the child and seems weirdly attached. Alicent mocks Laenor about it and then speaks to King Viserys in private in which he just waves it off as coincidence. Did I forget to mention that Laenor chose to name the child Joffrey? After his murdered lover, no doubt. Meanwhile, the Targaryen children, Jacaerys and Lucerys along with King Viserys and Queen Alicent's sons Aegon and Aemond are training in the dragon pit and the they decide to play a cruel joke on Aemond by gracing hi with a pig tressed up as a dragon since he doesn't have one of his own. After the cruel joke, Aemond sneaks further down into the pit and winds up burned. Later on Alicent finds out about the deed through her daughter Helaena. Later on Alicent is speaking with Sir Criston about Rhaenyra's children and her "exploits" and his ill feelings towards the princess. Later on the children are training with Harwin and Criston, Harwin notices the preferential treatment Alicent's children are receiving opposed to Harwin's. Harwin is further angered when Criston mentions Harwin's "parental" treatment to Rhaenyra's children. The twobegin to fight with Harwin pummeling Criston, solidifying Criston's theories about the children's parentage. Amidst everything Ser Lyonel fears a scandel stirring dealing with Rhaenyra and Harwin . He decides to resign and the king won't hear it. Lyonel decides to escort Harwin, already expelled from the City Watch due to his actions in the training yard against Sir Criston to Harrenhal. Harwin says his final goodbyes to Rhaenyra and the children and it is then that Jacaerys relizes that Harwin is his father. Meanwhile, in Pentos we see that Daemon Targaryen is married to Laena with two daughters and a child on the way. A Lord offers Daemon a massive amount of land and castle in exchange for protection from Daemo and his dragons. Laena, on hte other hand wishes to be back home in Westeros. Having giving birth to a stillborn she commands her dragon to incinerate her and the dragon reluctantly does so leaving Daemon alone with his two daughters.
In King's Landing Rhaenyra proposes a truce between her and Alicent by offering Jacarys to marry Helaena. Viserys is keen to the idea but. Alicent isn't. Rhaenerya grows frustrated and decides to leave with Laenor to live in Dragonstone. She also tells Laenor to bring his lover, Qarl for they will need every sword they can get. Prior to this she also speaks with Larys Strong and states that she wishes that he was Hand of the King again. Larys take this notion and plots and has prisoners follow his father and brother back to Harrenhal and the both of them die in a fire. Alicent states that he would likely be Hand of the King again.
What do you think of the latest episode of House of The Dragon?
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If you've ever read, She-Hulk by John Byrne then you know that the television series does it justice! Comedy, fourth wall breaking and cameos galore! This show at the time of writing this article is on it's third episode. Without giving away any details, I will say that besides some tie in references dealing with another green skinned hero, the mid credit scenes have been nothing short of hilarious! I will give away one notion of this latest episode. With all the misogynistic vitriol being spewed by mostly men on this show. It's refreshing to know that all of those tweets and complaints have actually made it into the show. Further cementing in the fact that this show and character played by Tatiana Maslany is very self-aware of what's' going on and it's giving!
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